not much to say today. the high today was 65 and rainy.

Leia came over this morning it was really nice to see her. We went to school together but she parked in another parking lot so i didnt get to say bye. (Leia, i hope you had a good day.)

Psychology was nice. I got my test back and got a 72. i was ok with that, i knew it wouldnt be that great since i didnt study, but she gave everyone a curve and so i ended up with a 90. That was super cool!! I'm sad in that class though, because i wish i had friends in there but i dont think anyone likes me because i'm so quite. oh well. i know i'm cool! hehehe

I went shopping today because I felt like it and i bought a cool king of kings shirt. it's the one i wanted for christmas. It was on sale too. sales=RAD. I saw laurie there (she's in my spanish class) i really like her. we get along great. hopefully sometime we can hang out outside of class or something. Then i went to Old Navy and bought some flip flops since it's been so warm.

I wish i wasnt home right now. I might call naomi soon.
tomorrow's valentine's day! i'm pretty excited actually because we are gonna have some fun at The Door.
no more to talk about.

Today........

1. shower.
2. school.
3. eat.
4. waste 45 min. (never to be seen again)
5. school.
6. sleep on the couch=life is good.
7. rant about war.
8. church=fun new friends.
9. home.
10. sit in front of the computer for a couple hours wasting away.

that's pretty much it. i laughed a lot today. thanks to Dee Dee Bell. she's so nice to me. I love her tons.
I MISS YOU DEEDER BEEDER!!!!

that's all.

wait.....
D-MO SUCKS!!!! :) (that's for you dee dee)

well since i had such a long entry yesterday i'm gonna make this one sorta short. but who knows i might write agian later tonight.

So today i realized i HATE the media! The news to be exact. i was watching tonight to further my intelligence but all it did was piss me off! the first thing to come up "war watch: complete coverage". Then what you need to do to "prepare" for war. Then a blurb about the army navy stores NOT selling any gas masks. but they did it so we would think all kinds of people are going out and buying them. when really the guy said no one had bought one in a while. Then the lady comes back and says "visit the web at ...... to see what else YOU need to do to be prepared for war". I couldnt stand it anymore so i YELLED at the TV and said "NOTHING YOU DONT HAVE TO DO ANYTHING DAMNIT!!!" then a commercial break but before we do that let's put more fear into America and have 3 points about the war here they are in no particular order.....
1. codes on tape of Bin Laden.
2. NATO deadlock
3. more troops called up to duty. (that makes it 150,000 young men and women now)
"more complete coverage of "war watch" when we return. go to wfaa.com for coverage 24 hours a day" so you can be scared for you life ALL THE FREAKIN TIME!!!!!!

i'm just wanna live my life. that's all i want. i dont need a gas mask to do that do i?? i dont think i do.

well time to go to church to learn about the FEAR OF GOD!!!!

have fun. all this makes me wish i were a hippy!

why do they even have to tell us all this? is it so that we will run for cover, or so that we look at all arabians living in America with caution? I'm really not sure.

so the music thing.... I know i do it. i listen to a song and sometimes i wish i were the person the singer is singing too. or in the car i'll turn my music up really loud so that i cant think straight. So that i dont have to think. So i work at a club and i'm surrounded by people that eat/sleep/drink music all weekend. I see these people and i wonder if they ever live in reality. Music in NOT reality. i think tomorrow i wont turn on my radio in my car and be alone with my thoughts. That's hard to do.

I've been thinking about lauren a lot lately. I feel like i need to write her and tell her how i feel about the whole situation. I'm not sure how to put it in words though. Some way i have to "fix" this "problem". it's starting to eat me alive. You cant have a friendship for 13 years and then just stop talking and stop acting like you care. I'll swallow my pride soon and write her an email. i hope she reads this.

War? I dont think i've dealt with it yet. or what it means. Because me, a 19 year old white middle class girl (i'm still a girl not yet a lady or woman) have no idea what war means or is. I'm afraid of it. I'm afraid because 2 or my really good friends are gone (possibly never to come back) because of it. Yet in my heart i love George Bush. What is a kid to do. Seriously...how am i supposed to act. I know i'm supposed to be completely behind Mr. Bush, but geez it's tearing me up inside!!! I need to deal with it. I need to cry about it. I did once when me and my mom were talking at her work and she said that last week my dad said to her "If i knew that America could use me I would go over there and do whatever i could." wow the thought of my dad leaving. I couldnt deal with it.

speaking of "the folks" (folks being pronounced with a silent L) as of yesterday they have been together for 30 years!! i cant believe it!! It makes me so excited to have parents that love eachother so much. I wish that for myself. mom says "i love him more now than i ever have." WOW!!!

this is turning out to be longer than i had hoped......oh who cares.

I wish i loved my life as much as i tell people i do. sometimes i wish i didnt laugh so much. sometimes i wish i were more serious about serious issues in my life instead of just laughing and shrugging it off. and figuring "oh it'll just go away sometime, just keep going. Life is good." no it isnt...... it's hard really hard.
i hate making decisions about huge things in my life. I'm sure everyone hates it, but i have had to make choices a lot lately. Most havent been good ones. which makes me hate it more. But Chicago is a good one!!

one month left till i get to go there and see what life has in store for me. I hope i get to be all i want to be.
i'm sick of writing in this thing. I feel really vulnerable. I think that's why i'm doing this though.

i'm just gonna come out and say it I hate/love austin!! and that sucks i care too much for him. he cares too little for me. I need to be honest with my parents. I hate that about me right now.

that's all.
to my friends: I LOVE ALL OF YOU!!! more than you will ever know......

I think people might use music to cover up what is really going on in their lives. I just thought of that so I will have to think more about it and write more later. but i think it's true. we'll see......

time for school.

You make me hate art!

aimee

today was a super good day!! I got up early went to class until 2 30 and then went and worked out with my mom. then i came home and had dinner. That's the nice thing about my dad not having a job. I know that he will have dinner ready at 6 30 every night and usually it's pretty good.

I was supposed to go to class from 630-920 but ended up just picking naomi up from school and hanging out with her. I'm really starting to value me and naomi's friendship more. not that i didnt before but we are starting to get really close and i like that. She helps me a lot.

I am realizing now that i'm 19 that i really have some awesome friends. Lots of people dont get to have one really close friend when i have like 3!! Man, i'm lucky. Life is so good!! I honestly dont know how it could be any better (well maybe i know one thing) but seriously God has totally blessed me.

I talked to my cousin (ashley) tonight. we laughed it up!! I'm so happy that we can get along so well and see eye to eye on so many issues in our family. She is doing so well and it makes me so happy. I get to see her in 3 weeks and I think i'm going to tell her how happy i am for her. She needs someone to tell her that. I have no agenda with her and i'm glad.

I wish i were honest with myself all the time. it would make things a lot easier. (that's all i'm gonna say about that)

it's late (12 06) i should head for bed.

i'm not so sure about this. maybe it'll be good for me though :)